Mo Better Blues: Embracing the struggle to discover our better selves — Àdisà

The process of transformation is often ugly and uncomfortable in the beginning. The transition stage from where we are to where we want to be—whether its our hair, our bodies, our minds or our disposition—is uncomfortable. And it's meant to be. The beauty in the early stages comes from embracing the struggle in the transition; the comfort comes later in having achieved our goals.

A common mistake many of us make is that we are more invested in being comfortable in the transition phase before we achieve anything to be comfortable about. ("I'll eat this and then work it off tomorrow." "I'm going natural but this weave will help with my transition." "I'm not as much of womanizer as a I used to be."...) But all that really says is that we are more committed to who we used to be than we are to who we desire to be.

The transition process with all of its difficulties is the time to get to know who we are, to reexamine notions bequeathed to us about ugliness and beauty, our worth and our values, about our identity and our consciousness, etc. What good is a beautyful natural head of healthy hair, if it shrouds a dead mind? What good is new found body beauty, if it houses the same toxic mentality about body image? What good does it do to be culturally conscious, if our behavior is still rooted in the pimpism of the plantation?

If we don't embrace the struggle of transition we may end up thinking we are free, confusing a bigger cage for freedom, still held hostage by old insecurities. Transition is the place where you do battle with yourself for your best self; transformation is where you discover who emerged victorious.

— Àdisà